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King Sagolthingba Sing No More (33 AD to 2014 AD)


Manipur — Wangam Sagolthingba Sing, died 30 May 2014, at the Regional Institute of Medical Science in Imphal following an illness that was diagnosed a century back as syphilis. Like stars, his name will always shine till the end of time.

The living mighty and the powerful (asslickers to a layman) of the land has decided, in the memory of the great ruler, his epitaph should include this obituary. And no surprise we saw not even a trace of objection to the demand. The king is dead but his legacy remains. Sagolthingba: Death unlocks the door to the infinite universe of bloody eternity.    

In keeping up with his universal world view, the request was made from the royal court to write this obituary-resembling piece; albeit there is no ritual of writing obituaries in the local culture; and further, to print it if not publish it before his soul leaves the earth, or 12 hours after his death.

He leaves his thirty-fifth wife Ibecha, 19 years old; thirty-fourth wife Ibetombi, 29; thirty-third wife Ibemhal, 39; thirty-second wife Ibenungsi, 49; and thirty-first wife, Ibeni, 59; a score of concubines; plus an unknown number of children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Sagolthingba: On a journey bound for the real home; not the shithole thee was alive for so many years. You should have gone to Yunnan or Yangon.


The emperor was born April 31, 33 AD in Sagolband, the son of Wangdabasana and Wangjaningseeja. Courageously he killed his three brothers and four cousins to get to the irreplaceable throne. He lived bravely and died even more bravely with just one ball that he had for the last five hundred years.

In his early years, Sagolthingba Sing was a king of hearts and a master of mind. He translated The Great Epic Volume One and The Great Epic Volume Two — which together made up of two million words — from some unknown languages to the native tongue. He was then married to only a dozen of queens. The respected king separates business and pleasure with unmatched dexterity and now the throne will be divided among the shitty fuckfaced heirs, who as their face evidently shows, always fuck up the most fundamental stuff. Now they will govern from charity the masters bestow for being lame jerks. Still his highness, King Sagolthingba, death is not an enemy but a destiny of travelling into the end of time.

The emperor attended the Awa-Shan Barn & Constabulary and later completed his study at the School of Aryan Command. He had physics and mathematics on the back of his hand, cosmology on his fingertips, other physical sciences all on his mind, command over philosophy almost like a great thinker and the details of the art of war was like his daily prayer. Sagolthingba: History and memory sleep here in thy lap; when will the next sun turn up?

In the reign of nineteen hundred, eighty-one years, through Sagolthingba’s charm and might, we have the privilege of seeing the amalgamation of seven principalities that reign the region from those time when man was evolving in some nondescript corner of Africa. Wise man say, indeed, we live in the cradle of human civilisation. Sagolthingba rediscovered bricks and bullet powders from China, which once the native knew them as the Khagi. We would have oblivious of the beautiful Khagi Leihao flowers should the king had not made an invasion on some Chinese backyards. People of the land may weep not—the king has only travelled so far way from this shit-smelling place to the paradise of love that would negate as well the entire care and compassion of his umpteen mistresses.

The funeral service starts with cremation on 9 June at the royal crematory and the lanna thouram follows a fortnight later. The last end of life is rest. May his soul rest in a single piece. Like never ever, there is going to be a night without a morning. His tombstone tells the story.

~ When the sun comes tomorrow
thy sun will know not 
thy sun will miss one of its favourite children


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