for merely one hour of the universe

how life howls aloud
how it has come to such a pass
it will ever be known I doubt it
at the centre of the universe today
for merely one hour of a day, any day
the absolutely necessary universe-defying kick
it is all that counts amongst infinite number of things

if not, live or die
live or kill
love or hate
make or break
ugly or pretty
personal or political
care about responsibilities or
bloody whatever
—nothing matters

whys and whens don’t mater
time does not matter
perhaps, a bit of dopamine might do
yet all the reasons are illogical
and nothing still matters,
and what could be, when even life doesn’t?
but the spirit, the spirit, the spirit
for the universe-challenging one hour
regardless of its meaninglessness
it’s just as longing for one of thoreau’s chairs
one moment, for its own sake
and back to nothingness the next

if not
if not for the kick
—an atheist as me wouldn’t usually talk about it,
yet it is what a hell should be like
to have the least that penury would offer a man
what insomnia would do to sleep
a needle away from the most painful disease
and the excruciating pain inside and out
nonetheless what is needed never changes
just as the total amount of energy in the universe
and the option is the stuff or no stuff

in real, and if unavoidably yes
float like a cotton ball in a vast earthly expanse
like between koubru and tamu,
lightness
delightful chemical reactions
even if it lasts for merely an hour, yes,
but goodness, nevertheless
and they say it’s a crime
as if it really matters
and the vicious cycle continues
with the sun keeping the time
the sun beats the caesium atomic clock hands down