The Unexpected Existential Crisis

Two things that conclude a semester, an end-semester examination and then grading the papers, are triggering an unexpected existential crisis. I have some reasons albeit logical or not, I cannot tell anymore.

 

This May, India will be completing the 10th year of the present right-wing regime, and nobody has to look far to see how bad things are already. It is also May, and we do not even have to try see anything, especially for us in an undergraduate college. It is one of the even end-semester seasons as batches of students will be preparing to go to the next year: the first to the second, and those from the second to third year, and there will be a fresh batch of the proverbial curious and hyperactive first-year students. We really do not have to see anything now, because we have already reached the point!

Towards the end of a semester—not just even ones for that matter, for tonight—there are two occasions that stand out the most. First, the system of formative evaluation that culminates in the eponymous end-semester examination that arrives soon after the extraterrestrial rush for practical exams and, amongst other things, issues relating mostly to shortage of attendance and missing assignments; and second, the excruciating pain of/during invigilation.

Of course, I’m not ignoring the plight of the students. And I don’t deny all of their issues are an existential pain on a different level altogether: Classes that are scheduled at an inhumanely 8 in the morning; boring lectures that make them even sleepier; unnecessary assignments that add no Snapchat-or-Instagram-value whatsoever; annoying group projects that tell more of independence than team work; the never-ending preaching of what to eat, and what not to, and what to wear and what not to; and so on.

However, before I proceed, let me quote Adam Smith:

‘It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.’

Read:

The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith 

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 9387779467 | Publisher ‏ : ‎ Fingerprint! | Paperback ‏ : ‎ 1,144 pages | ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9387779467 | ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-9387779464 

Personally, I have so many nothings to do, so many readings to complete for my research, so many YouTube Shorts to watch...so many preparations for seminars and conferences, so many worries for wars that are intermittently happening in my hometown in Manipur, and so many things for very little less. And I'll still repeat that these two things that conclude a semester, an end-semester examination and the evaluation, are triggering an existential crisis.

The right-wing regime, in its desperation to change the previous long-serving centrist regime, had introduced the so-called National Education Policy, which resulted in the shortening of the exams and course works. Although it is a different tale together now after the introduction of the NEP that the incumbent government has decided to change not only the policy but the system altogether, while reducing the value of a student to that of a guinea pig all over again.

Again, the NEP that we still follow is not helping. Just as contrast to one of my senior colleagues had suggested, meditation does NOT help during the long hours of invigilation, no matter how much it has been reduced. Mathematically, according to the NEP, it is by half an hour, but physically it is no different. I can tell it from experience. Then it was the sheer ennui of doing nothing for three-odd hours and now it is the external factors too! When the city is reeling under one of the worst heat waves, so to speak, it is even worse to tolerate. (Read: Bengaluru sizzles, records highest temperature of 41.8 degree celsius (sic). Source: The New Indian Express)

Staying in New Delhi for 12 years had taught me how to survive in 40+ degree ovens, because at the end of the day, at least, we can resort to an AC room. Yet, when the grading process starts, it is so surrealistic. Imagine you have bags of bananas and you have shared generously with a bunch of monkeys. They can take multiple pieces of the fruit, or berry whatever, but for all the reasons they are quite satisfied with just half a piece or a piece at most. And that’s exactly how they write in an exam.

That is not grace or discretion. If they were really a monkey, it is understandable—because that’s what makes the animal kingdom, sans human beings, so enviable. They will not harm or kill others once they are fed for the day, unlike humans who know no limit. The Indian Father in General, Mahatma Gandhi also used to say that the Earth has enough for everyone’s need but not for everyone’s greed. That's a thought for the day but that’s not the point though. The learning and comprehension that the students need to acquire are not bananas. In simple words, to through the exams, while Socrates messes with the very meaning of why we are in this universe, and then before we know it, we get to see what the students have written while grading the papers. That’s worth one whole semester!  

Who is going to understand this crisis? Where do we even begin from?

Perhaps, it will be the toil of Sisyphus all over again the next semester. Perhaps, it’s my shortcoming that there has been insufficient learning and comprehension. Perhaps, the education system is created like this, and this is how governments have also been taking political mileage out of. Perhaps, it’s wrong to expect so much from the people. Perhaps, this is how people are. Perhaps, a higher-paying job can get rid of all of these crises. Perhaps, there is no meaning in life at all. Perhaps, all I need are a rum punch and a holiday to Francey Pondicherry.