Water / Everybody’s Crazy in My Family
Translated from Laishram Samarendra’s poems Ising and Ngaodaba Yaode Kanamatasu Eikhoigi Eemungda, which were originally published in Wakching-gi Kabita (1999). 
Water
Ising
all the experts gathered
all the mighty and all the masters
but from the tap the water never flowed
one expert with another exchanged
one master and another murmured,
come what may, man, was there no water
then in a flash a lady appeared
she looked like the missus of a master
‘why should the water flow not!’
she screeched it oughta flow
she added it should never cease
she was ballsy and she scooted;
then bubblin’-a’-babblin’, gushed out the water
—trong. . . .trong. . . .trong.
Everybody’s Crazy in My Family
Ngaodaba Yaode Kanamatasu
Eikhoigi Eemungda
Everybody’s crazy in my family
Crazy about tea, my younger uncle is crazy about tea
The morning tea, afternoon tea and evening tea
About cigarettes my aunt
“My boy, my cigarettes, get my cigarettes. Before my eyes
The thirty-three crores of gods present themselves,”
My aunt says, “When I take one hard drag.”
Bollywood songs are one thing my elder brother’s crazy about
There is no song he knows not, no tune he hums not
No matter if it is morning, afternoon or evening
No summer, no winter
No rainy days have passed sans his songs
My elder uncle is lost in chanting the verses from the Gita:
Whenever, O descendant of Bharata, Dharma is declining...
Seldom does he stop but carries on yabbering
About Gandhi’s work, Bhave’s thoughts and Tilak...
Gibber-yabber, yada yada, yackety-yak
If it is in Sanskrit it is always the truth
Stooping shoulder, furrowing his brows
He is always listening to incantations
My brother-in-law Kulachandra is mad about elections
The general elections, the assembly elections
The municipality elections
He is always checking who has received the PDS items
He is always checking who has not received kerosene and sugar
Yaima, my saner brother-in-law is crazy about money
Sleepless nights he spends counting his money
Keeping accounts of his daily supplies
Keeping accounts of his trade
Never he stops tittle-tattling about selling plots and fields
About any dealing and mortgages and paying off
About cash handling and saving, and borrowing and lending
In Krishna my grandfather Krishnadas is committed full-time
Always he throws himself down at the god’s feet
Cry, in some epiphany; pray, on every opportunity
Everything’s in the name of the lord for him
And the most interesting amongst all of us:
Is my younger brother, who hears not,
The mortal saying or the divine talking
But only in the wisdom of science and history is he occupied with
He is guiltless and sings pop songs
It is him and I,
They say we are the craziest.
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| The image is a slightly tweaked mobile-phone shot of the cover re-printed in the collection Laishram Samarendragi Apunba Lairik. |
Postscript Even the most basic amenities like water and electricity are still not basic, but some sort of a luxury in our hometown. Regardless of the nationalists’ vain argument, we are pathetic and many of us will accept it without a second thought. Recently, water scarcity hit the province so hard in the ass, we started forgetting we are living in the 21st century.
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