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No big deal





Usually I travel across the city on the bright green,
bright red and orange buses and bright yellow
auto-rickshaws and they inspire me to wear pants
and shirts in these colours, for example, a green
pant and a yellow shirt, and if I like them, you got
no say in it, and what's the big deal in it?

Chuck Taylor has got his name lingering in our minds,
when we came out of schools and colleges till now
but Moreh is hardly four-hour’s ride from home and
I can get so many fake but the same shoes at a price
I can afford, much cheaper and also, it's not the local
made but imported products from Malaysia and
Thailand and Hong Kong and Cambodia, unlike the
beetle shoes made in Kakhulong, so in wearing them,
what’s the big deal even if you can get the original piece
from Ansal Plaza?

Ansal Plaza reminds me of shopping, and shopping
reminds me of girls though I don't mean to be a sexist,
and never I endorse the superiority of a sex when the
only difference between man and woman is what we wear
inside: men wear underwear while women wear panties,
and what's the big deal with feminism and masculinism,
when the only animal I want to be is a human being?

But a 'human being' is an exaggeration, or perhaps there
are different types of human being: the wild type, the
beast type, the peaceful type, the hardworking type, the
doctor type, the engineer type, the teacher type; though
I would prefer no type but just the literal meaning of a
human being in me, as in the possession of a thinking
capability, and it's no big deal to become a human for
we are already born a human being.

And at home, a gun-toting thug can come around midnight,
when the world is dead, to deliver a demand letter and
if resisted to shoot the receiver to death, but there is no
big deal in that animal conduct, anyway, for we are animals
and there are so many animal-type among us though it is
surprising animals can also be human beings.

The gods are consoling because no other animals worship,
except our Mickey the doggie, who used to howl whenever
the priests chanted and the temple bells were tolled a long time
ago; but Mickey's gone and it's been a long time I have been
away from home; the only thing that counts now is that there
are many people who are believers, who trust in the nonexistence
of gods, and it's no big deal there are also many nonbelievers in
the nonexistence of gods and it makes no difference to humanity.

For what really matter are the politics and economics that are
interminably mixed to be the tunics of our civilization and that
society be damned if it fails in whichever measure it conks out
in this derricks of governments and production and distribution
and consumption and the only subject  that is of vital is the
easier-said-than-done thing of having the light of common
consciousness, but it is no big deal to become a shithole for that
kind of society that fails to function but excels to just excrete.

No liberalism, no socialism, no communism, no capitalism
but metabolism, as in the excretion in the above society, is quite
critical in our lives though not as much as having a nationality
to define my beingness, but as a natural process because my
nationality cannot be compromised — I belong to a place that
belongs to the map of a country, so it's no big deal that I don’t
tick the checkbox asking my nationality on several application forms.

And back to this room where we are here together, it will be no 
big deal for you to say “Fuck you for writing a crap, you are simply 
repeating it is no big deal,” for it is easy to criticize, but it’s alright, 
I mean, it’s no big deal.






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