Mahadeva: the Greatest God of Penis
Our religion is always the best.
Nothing is more sacred and special than our religion and nothing beats the magic and madness of religion. After all it gives us, in spirit and body, an identity, while most of the other things give it only in spirit. But what happens when this offering gives us a deviated image of ourselves? Sad but true. This is albeit the real problem. Shrugging it away, it sounds relatively easy; and there is the mostly likely reply that religion is a personal matter. However, we might miss the nuances in this self-adoration. We might, because apparently other people also say their religion is the best. And they have their gods. How is that even possible? How dare they?!
Nothing is more sacred and special than our religion nothing beats the magic and madness of religion. After all it gives us, in spirit and body, an identity, while most of the other things give it only in spirit. But what happens when this offering gives us a deviated image of ourselves? Sad but true. This is albeit the real problem. Shrugging it away, it sounds relatively easy; and there is the mostly likely reply that religion is a personal matter. However, we might miss the nuances in this self-adoration. We might, because apparently other people also say their religion is the best. And they have their gods. How is that even possible? How dare they?!
No, the god cannot belong to you only. It is an object as a whole, and its parts are each one of us, including my fellow atheists, for no man is an island. Individually, we can be the most hardcore atheists, but the religious people always annoyingly tickle our ass and get our attention.
The beginning: All the world's a stage and so many things happen in the green room. There was a time long before when the god was even an infant and how men and women used to live like monkeys. In those days, there were very few gods that were objectified from the natural world like the sun and the moon. Then some men started becoming gods, and others godman and His company.There is also a literally ancient Meitei belief that is an equivalent of the Big Bang Theory. It says a massive bang—which is essentially the formation of zygote when sperms fuse with ovum—is the genesis of life. So, whether you go east or west, you are always going to find a penis, and in a polytheistic religion like Hinduism it is only natural that there is a god of penis. Who says theism is devoid of rational thinking?
Religion is the opium of the people. Take it from Hinduism—non-Aryans like us had to integrate terms like lingam and yoni into our vocab. This is just the beginning. We have to read the scriptures, visit Binabon (originally Vrindavan), name ourselves from these books, sacrifice our identities and what not. This is done at the cost of our own identity that developed independently but which is now unfortunately in the process of revival, after it was dissed, annihilated and erased for nearly three centuries.
In the developed world, economic activities oil society's machinery, but for small, conflict-ridden groups like the followers of Hinduism in Manipur, it’s a different story. Devotees cannot just brush religion off as a personal choice because it affects us all.
If you want to worship alone, why build temples at my gate? Flaunting garlanded and petaled reproductive organs smeared with vermilion and milk—really? This is your deity every Phairen (February-March) of the lunar Meitei calendar, high on grass and phola porridge, celebrating Shivratri, the Great Night of Shiva.
God Knows
Worshiping Mahadeva is one result of recognising sexual organs as our creators. Seems a tad perverted, right? As humanity evolved, Mahadeva morphed into a half-man, half-woman figure. Among the 33.99 crore gods, he too got a makeover, appearing in posters and idols. How long did it take for Mahadeva to go from a rock-hard stone penis to an iconic poster god? Only those who have attained moksha can answer this sort of question.
Mahadeva is the greatest god of penis. What do devout porn stars worship? Is it India? Answers no required but the Hindus are finicky about cleanliness. In fact, there are social practices like untouchability and ostracisation. In the words of the geniuses from the Gen-Z generation, that's one big red flag.I have a conspiracy theory in this regard. Shiva aka Mahadeva aka Hara is originally believed to be a god of the tribes in the northern part of India, when the Aryans arrived from Central Asia and elsewhere. The purest Aryan race after the Nordics of the Nazis, therefore, incorporated the dirty Mahadeva with ash stained on his forehead, snakes curled up his neck and who sits on a tiger skin. This consolidation by the Aryans was apparently just one of the many divine steps in creating the 33 crore gods and goddesses in the subcontinent.
From penis god extraordinaire, Mahadeva had also chopped off his son's head and had replaced it with that of an elephant. Even his wife had become a Meitei at the Nongmai-Ching hills. In a divine order nothing is anymore magical on the sheer account of white magic that happens galore, and this was quite evident from the transformation of the small mountain into the Sanskritised Baruni hills that is believed as well to have formed from the sperm of the greatest god of penis.
Divine curses, oh, lord! What grinds my gears is replacing our penisless yet authentic gods with Hindu equivalents, thanks to Bengali missionaries. Our cultural entities are now overshadowed by Hindu beliefs, which I'd say if it is not forbidden, a sin worse than blasphemy. Believers, extortionists, administrators, patriots, drug addicts, and government unite!
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