The Unofficial National Anthem

The guy says he’s got India kicking his balls
The girl says India’s molesting her
The minster says India’s got into his lies
The singer says India’s got into his music
The doctor says India’s got his medicines
The biologist says life started from the ancient books in India
The statistician says the numbers and figures are from India
The astronomer says he sees only India from amongst the stars
The astrologer says the lines of fortune runs through India
The analyst says India got space between the lines we read
The designer says he is obsessed with the Indian pattern from Iran
The architect says India has built everything; you got to find your space
The dancer says India has got just the right moves
The actor says India’s got the storyline and the plot as well
The drainer says India ejaculates no trash
The alchemist says India turns shit into gold
The loi says, so India has owned them if not the gods
The capitalist says India is the biggest investor
The robber says his specialisation is in the Indian treasures
The priest says all his incantation are spiritually polished in India
The pilot says he sees the one and only India from amongst the cloud
The old stripper says India always sees her sagging boobs
The tailor says he stitches the torn part of India
The labourer says all his works arrive from India, all sourced
The newsman says India’s got all the exclusive stories
The player says India, not anyone, makes the rules of the game
The hooker says India’s got all the condoms and pills
The magician says India’s got all the secrets and tricks
The scholar says all his bookmarks are inserted on Indian topics
The mechanic says half the engines are made in India, other quarter from China
And the last quarter from the rest of the bloody world
The judge says his verdict comes from the wisdom of India
The artist says he is lost in the performance of India
The banker says India’s got all the keys to the safety boxes
The ball says its smell comes from India
The bra says India holds everything from Kashmir to Kanyakumari
The underwear says India smells like a vagina, and an asshole all the time
The condom says India’s got to fuck the noodle-eating chinkies
The watchman says India’s got the key to any entry point
The painter says India hides amongst the strokes of his brush
The rebel says all his powers come from fucking up India but in vain
The contractor says he sees his future and progeny thriving in India
The gunman says his bullets are made in India
The armyman says he will kill for India
The poet howls he wants to be killed only with an Indian bullet
The shopkeeper says all his goods are manufactured in India
The cobbler says he got adhesives and bits and pieces from India
The stall owner says she got her bora and cha from India
The coolie says he can carry stuffs to and fro India
The milkman says he gets his milk from India, his water as well
The leikai loafer says he depends on the Indian Standard Time
The midwife says India has given birth to one billion morons
I got India in my ass and I cannot even defecate. Piles.
Piles. Piles. Piles for the anthem.